ive thought about this, after whatever happened in the past, and today..
even back on the train. after this tired long day.
no matter how tired or busy i am.
i must post this post.
i should not have cared at all.
maybe because im too used to it.
but im sorry. i didnt mean to be angry today,
but if you are my friend, i feel the need to show concern.
maybe because to me everything i do is important.
i love school and hate projects and test.
i love to see my friends, but not the papers.
lectures are fun, but not the work.
tutorials arent that bad, cause there are you guys and my red rubberbands!
alright, i suddenly have the insecurity around me.
i shouldnt think too much, and be too observant.
i just cant help it.
maybe its the stress that caused all this.
i have never been like that i think.
i want to be that happy go lucky person i used to be before.
hope i get better. i dont want to get ticked off that easily.
that isnt what i was. even if i did, i could control all of it inside me,
and forget about it the next 3 mins.
i need to build myself back,
sometimes i feel that i say sorry for too many things.
is that good or bad? i wonder.
i realise, family is my number one.
because my mom kept me in alot.
hardly able to go out.
stay over at friend's house or whatever..
im happy for that.
but being like this might pull me away from my friends.
thats the bad part. and i miss out alot with them.
no matter how much i would like to keep in touch with the rest of you,
i feel the miscommunication we have,
maybe its not miscommunication, but different character.
lets hope our meeting next time wont be awkward,
but a casual greeting.
i feel slow aobout this, but i feel that,
even after realising this late,
it wont affect me much.
bestie and i have been talking.
i wonder how come i have such a wonderful bestie,
our thoughts are sometimes linked.
we even sighed at the same time.
i still talk to companion,
i do hope to continue. or else, i wonder if the only person i'll be most in contact with is bestie.
if im free on thursday, i might meet her to play pool.
but i thought thursday was her day with joyce?
so i dont know and never asked.
i somehow feel that i thinked too much.
but i think whatever i reflected today,
actually put on abit of stress onto me.
i need to vein this anger maybe?
i'll update the day later.
project first.
